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| but you don't love me.
I want to be free, baby you've heard me.
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa
After opening up, I decided to close the window. Just for awhile. I've been spending a lot of time with my homies. It's times like this when I need them.  My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown | | |
| This year has been a pretty rough year. Truth be told, it's been my toughest year so far.
My father came back unexpectedly during my prelims. After leaving my family for almost 7 years, I thought it woundn't affect me but I was the most affected. He came back for the custody battle, amongst other things like the financial aspects of the divorce, which my mom won. Thank God, if not i'll be in China right now. The divorce, up till now, isn't completely over. I guess the hard part that directly involves my sister, brother and I is. It is scary, going to court, talking to the judge, seeing my dad while going through prelims. Deep down inside of me, I wished it didn't have to end this way. I wish he could stay in Singapore and I can finally have a whole family. I guess I have to accept the situation. Through it all, my family became closer, especially my sister and I. While my parents were arguing, we were locked up in my room, hiding in one corner. Momzy is one tough mom, she showed no sign of weakness infront of us. She made me feel strong when I thought I was goanna loose it. I  you, momzy and sissy.
With everything going on, the people around me in school were extremely understanding, loving and helpful. I didn't know they could read me so well. Even before I said anything to anyone, they could tell that something was wrong. Especially people like Gloria, Bell, Arielle, Jaspreet, Delvina, Joelle, Caryn, Qian Wei, Kitru, Jill, Cheryl, Chin, Charlene, Bianca, Glennice, Lynette. It meant truckloads to me.  I was really touched by their tlc and concern, especially when I'm not even close to some of them.
During that period, grandpa had brain damage and he passed away. His last wish was to see his grandchildren and I wasn't there. I never told anyone about this, except for  Longan as he was there when I was told. I still feel extremely guilty.
A few months ago, Longans' mom brought me to this other doctor at paragon. He told me about this diagnosis for my skin. It's called Methrotraxate. It might help and at the same time give me liver failure or lung disease. After a long consultation with my doctor, I didn't take it, well, until my joints begin to hurt then I have no option. Since then I've been appreciating a lot more things around me. I want to live a better, optimistic life with no regrets.
This year I have lost a few friends, gained a few as well and even strenghtened old friendships. I've gotten closer to a lot more people, which makes me feel so lubbbedsxzFdskgakalsakc. Kenneth is the nicest shitz ever. Aik and Dan are morons. I don't understand why they're my goodie good friends. Bart I still love 'em lots. 
My relationship with Longan has never been better. Especially during the big Os, boyfriend never failed to encourage and motivate me. Even when I was a emotional wreck, he still loved me the most. Since we don't spend much time together, I treasure the time spend with him even more. Even if we're just talking or not talking on the phone. Baby, I even love to hear you breathe.
All in all, I've learnt a lot more about myself, my loved ones, and the importance of life.
Even with all the difficulties I've been through and still going through, 2008 is a year that counted.
People that made this year count:
My new year resolution will be to stop hating and start loving. 'Cause I realised that life is too short for hatred.
With this, I shall post the last entry for 2008 and welcome a more hopeful 2009.
Peace out, Homies!
I love you all.
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